Fun In The Woods
by ampersands
Summary: Why his boyfriend had to pick CAMPING of all the activities Seifer had no idea. What he DID know was that a week in the 'woods' with Hayner would either end very well or very, VERY badly. For ellesugars.


**NOTE: This is a collaboration with two other authors, _QueenAlla_ and _ilyfromjess_. It's being posted on my account because I have done the majority of the writing/editing and thought up the plot. They may not be available for the following chapters, but for now, two thirds of this belongs to them! Also, this is based around when Hayner and Seifer are 18/19**.  
This is dedicated to _**ellesugars**_, my 100th review for my Seiner drabble collection. Reviews are LOVED. The lame name is by Jess; only used for the lulz. :)  
_Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts. Hurr._

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"Camping? Of all the activities, you _had_ to pick the lamest." Seifer slammed his fist against one of the bulging camping bags for emphasis before continuing to stuff his belongings into it.  
Hayner cursed under his breath and yanked at the zipper of his bag. "It's not lame, Seifer."  
"Actually, it is. 'Cos I say so." A smirk crossed the older blonde's face, but Hayner was too busy trying to fit Mr. Fuzzikins into his bag to notice.

Hayner was crouched down, his ankles awkwardly entwined. The more he tugged at the zipper, the more it absolutely _refused _to bend to his will. Seifer stood beside a shoulder-height tower of empty boxes left from when they had moved in. The dim, flickering light of their coffee table lamp sent shadows across the lounge room walls in the shape of the Struggle trophy sitting beside it. The multi-coloured orbs glittered in the lamp-light, fitting the glitter in Hayner's dark eyes. He blinked furiously and shook his head.  
"Look, we just need to do _something _together-"  
"Wanna hear what my libido suggests?" Seifer interrupted, throwing his blue bag to the floor.  
"No, not really."

Hayner struggled with the zipper on his surprisingly scarcely filled bag, squinting through the water forming in his eyes. His hands slipped over each other until they were met by another, slightly coarser pair.  
"Weakling," Seifer teased, trying to push Hayner's hands away so he could do the zipper up himself. When his attempts were met with a tightening of grip on the zipper, Seifer growled and pushed at Hayner's shoulder with his own. "Let me help you, idiot."  
"I've got it." Hayner grunted.  
"No, you haven't. _Let me help you_."  
"I guess I'm too much of an idiot to want help, huh?"  
"Stop PMSing." Seifer pushed Hayner to the side, letting his boyfriend fall slightly and hit the hard carpeting.

After zipping up the camouflage-textured bag, Seifer threw him a smirk. "Now, isn't that better?"  
"Ow." Hayner bit his lip and, before he could wipe it away, Seifer pushed his thumb roughly against a teardrop on Hayner's cheek.  
"Are you _crying_?" His voice couldn't have been laced with _less _concern and the icy eyes that observed Hayner were filled with a teasing humour.  
"No," Hayner pulled away, his breath catching in his throat. It felt as though someone had lit a match against his forearm.

Seifer crossed his legs beneath him and pulled at the sitting Hayner, forcing the slighter blonde into his lap. A look of irritation crossed Hayner's flushed face.  
"I'm an ass out of love," Seifer mumbled, shifting Hayner around a little. Hayner pushed at him and, after trying to stand up, was yanked back roughly into Seifer's lap. "Universal solution to all arguments."  
Trying to forget that this was _Seifer_, Hayner leaned back into the warm body, turning his head so that his cheek was pressed against Sei- _its _collarbone.  
"I just want to go ..."  
"... Why? 'Cause your parents did or something? Wood fetish~?"

Hayner pressed his face even harder against Seifer's collarbone. Nice: would it _kill_ him?

"I just want to, Seifer."

"But _why_?" Seifer pulled away slightly, a little uncomfortable with how suddenly Hayner had relaxed into him, but his grip around Hayner was as taut as ever.

"I don't _know_, okay? I just don't **know**."

"But I want to know _why_." A demanding desperation was seeping into Seifer's tone.

"I told you Seifer, I don't _know_." ... ugh. Hayner was not going to do this right now; they were _not_ going to argue. Arguing wasn't what _nice, happy couples_ did. Arguing involved stupid mood swings and the 'silent treatment' when all you wanted to do was just apologise your heart out until they take you back again. Seifer always calmed Hayner down (or more commonly, vice versa) before anything major happened, but this time...

"Well, figure it out!"

Hayner slid off of Seifer's lap and crossed the room to the window, ignoring the older boy's glare.

"C'mon, don't be like that." Seifer murmured, standing up and staring at him. A light breeze ruffled the curtains and chilled the inside of Seifer's arms. _Don't be like that, don't be stupid.__** Just answer the question**__, Hayner._

"Be like what?" Hayner asked, trying to pull off the iciest tone possible as he blinked rapidly to stop any tears from falling. UGH. He was such a baby sometimes.

"You know..." Seifer stepped closer, nearly close enough to wrap his arms around Hayner and make everything okay. He didn't take the last step, he didn't make everything okay. He wanted _answers_.

"And you know I don't know." Hayner said quietly, scrambling over the bed to get to the door instead, and running down the stairs.

With an irritated scowl, Seifer pulled his beanie off and ruffled his blonde hair, as if doing so would relieve his stress. It didn't work. The little devil on Seifer's left shoulder kept telling him to ditch the chickenwuss and go grab a beer, while on his opposite shoulder, his undesirable angel was singing hymns in his ear, telling him to go and comfort his Hayner.

Hugo, as Seifer had nicknamed his devil, unfortunately copped a halo to the head, causing his angel to win the battle for the first time in a long time.

Moments later, Seifer was standing right behind his boyfriend, who was in the kitchen, downing a large glass of tap water as though it was air, or perhaps some kind of alcohol.

"Taste good?" The older boy murmured, taking one last step towards Hayner.

Hayner flinched as he felt something warm surround his head. It was evidently a few sizes too large, as the black material fell across his face, blocking his line of sight. Seifer rarely, if _ever_, allowed anyone to see him without his beanie, let alone letting them wear it.

When such oddities occurred, it was clear that Seifer was in one of his sincere, loving, and apologetic moods. Knowing this, a great deal of rage was released from Hayner.

"I'm not changing my answer." His tone remained cold and crisp, but his stance was much more at ease now that Seifer had put on his rare display of affection.

A low chuckle emerged from Seifer's throat. "'Course not. You know, I think I can deal with not knowing, for now. Sooner or later, I know you'll give in and make one of your mushy 'I love you' speeches."

Hayner twitched. He was having a hard time deciding whether or not Seifer was joking around.

"Don't hold your breath, _Seifer_." He took a long, over exaggerated sip of his water before turning to face him. "So, are we going or what?"

Normally, Seifer didn't like having someone change the topic so suddenly while they were talking, but under the awkward and on-edge circumstances, he'd never been so keen.

"Just as soon as I get my beanie back, _Chickenwuss_." Seifer exchanged his playful smirk with his beanie, which instantly sat perfectly on his head where it belonged.

Dreading having to face another long, tense moment with his boyfriend, Hayner grabbed his old, worn skateboard from the hallway (there had been many a debate as to why it was a dangerous place to put such items) and headed out the door.

"Meet you at the Station in ten." He called behind him, leaving Seifer standing alone in the kitchen with nothing but an empty glass of water for company.

Seifer scratched his beanie and looked around anxiously, before refilling the glass of water and taking a sip, as if he was expecting something more.

Ten minutes later, Seifer was dragging three extremely heavy bags along behind him as he walked.  
"You have got to be kidding me," He growled. A girl around fourteen was sitting on the steps of the station, glaring at him with a cigarette in her hand. Her dirty blonde hair hung over her eyes, reminding Seifer of Fuu slightly. However, this girl had a far... sluttier vibe to her. She gave him what must have been intended as a flirty leer before casting her cigarette aside.

"Hey there, gorgeous... how would you like some... _help?_"  
Seifer threw her an aggravated glare and continued up the steps, a few strides to her left. The girl leaned over the steps, her already short shirt riding up to show more of her pale stomach. Her hand snaked around his ankle, moving slowly up his leg with a distinctively... _whorish_ squeeze. She reached for his hand, pulling herself across the steps a little further. She was surely giving anyone passing by a _lovely_ view up her skirt, not that he expected anyone to be interested in a miniature slut like her.  
"You can keep your help to yourself, thanks." Seifer snatched his hand back and stepped quickly to the left, causing her to fall on the steps and curse him a little.  
"I only want some fun."  
"Slut it up elsewhere, I'm sure someone else will be... interested." Another glare was thrown in her direction, one of disgust and almost pity as he dragged the bags up to the station twice as fast.

"Did you have fun out there, Seifer?" Hayner snickered as he flung the glass door open for Seifer and took one of the large bags away from him.  
"_Fun_?" Seifer hissed. "Did it _look_ like I was having fun? Why didn't you _help_ me?"  
"I thought you handled it well, actually. It's not every day that a baby slut hits on your boyfriend, you know."

"Yeah, real flattering." Seifer practically threw Hayner's carry-on bag at him, waiting until Hayner had righted himself before walking towards the ticket box.  
"Already got them." Hayner grinned, bumping against Seifer as he passed on his way to the waiting train. "Your _rippling_ _muscles _won't be strained much longer, _gorgeous_."  
"You piss me off so badly sometimes."  
"_Sometimes_? Obviously half of my work isn't paying off..."

After dumping their luggage on a flustered train guard, Seifer yanked the slighter blonde into and through the first carriage. His brow was set with determination.  
"You took ages, Seifer, as if we're going to get a seat."  
"Oh, yes we are." Seifer growled. He smirked, spotting a single empty seat by the window.

Hayner's gaze turned to where Seifer was looking, and almost instantly, he realised the plan set in his mind.

"I meant two seats, Seifer, _two_-" But before Hayner could finish his sentence, Seifer had pulled him into his lap, right between both an overly obese old man and a young, innocent looking girl of about 5.

"_Seifer,_" Hayner mumbled into his ear, "This ain't gonna work!"

"Shut up,_** little bro**_!" Seifer retorted, rather loudly for emphasis. "It's completely normal. No one cares, see?"

Hayner grumbled and forced himself to endure Seifer's hair ruffling and poking.

The young girl on their left stared intently at the two older boys, observing their every move until...

"Jamie, come sit on my lap!" The girl motioned to the girl sitting next to her, a girl who appeared to look completely unrelated.

"We've started a trend," Seifer murmured, his hands running gently from Hayner's forehead to the back of his hair.  
"I'm _uncomfortable_."  
Seifer shifted around slightly until Hayner gestured for him to stop.

Over the next hour or so, the old man looked at them warily a few times, his eyes darkening whenever Seifer would mumble something into the nape of Hayner's neck. Jamie and the other girl were making little giggly noises, and Seifer had a niggling feeling that one of them was eyeing him in a way a girl her age really shouldn't. How come _guys _never paid attention to him this much? Not that he was complaining over his current interest...

"Next stop, Heartilly Meadows," called an extremely peppy voice over the loudspeaker. Seifer looked up with a raised eyebrow. Usually train drivers were bored and had a monotone voice - perhaps this one was on crack.  
Seifer wasn't really interested in being on a train driven by a crack head.

"Hayner." He lifted his knee, jolting the blonde in his lap.  
Hayner lifted his head sleepily.  
"I'm not carrying you out," Seifer sighed, standing abruptly so that Hayner almost fell out of his lap.  
"S'if you could lift me..." Was the mumbled retort.

Seifer reached up to the luggage shelf, hearing Hugo's mutters to leave Hayner's bag on the train. A smirk crossed his face, quickly replaced with a grimace as he was loaded down with the weight of two bags once again. He could hear his (_unhelpful_) boyfriend's snickers and swallowed a taunt.

"Feel like _helping_?"  
Seifer's face twisted into another smirk as Hayner obediently lifted the third and heaviest bag. He really shouldn't get so much pleasure out of his boyfriend's pain... Unless it was.... _**Ahem.**_  
"Fuuuuuck this is heavy." Hayner dropped the bag and kicked it lightly, glowering at it with his arms crossed.  
"Oh, don't be so weak." Seifer rolled his eyes, handing one of the lighter bags to Hayner and making his way to the exit of the train.

Hayner and Seifer managed to race each other to the front as it screeched to a halt. The doors shakily opened, rattling and making an awful fuss as they did so. Seifer very purposefully went out the doors first, dragging the two bags behind him. Hayner took a split second to admire the bulging muscles of Seifer's arms before following suit. A cold looking wind blew through the train station whenever someone opened the doors, and Hayner shivered slightly.

"I thought the pamphlet for this place said 'eternal summer!'" Hayner cried, hunching his shoulders up as they stepped outside.  
"The pamphlet clearly _lied_, Chickenwuss. Don't believe everything you read."

Hayner was about to retort, when the two young girls they'd been seated next to walked past them, holding hands and giggling softly to themselves. He nearly choked on his saliva.

"Good going, idiot." Hayner muttered to Seifer, jabbing him with one of the tent poles that had come loose from the tent bag. "Their parents are probably plotting a campaign against gay guy action in public."

Seifer simply shrugged. "So? We're brothers, remember?"

He blinked. "Uh...Yea-Is that a _golf cart?!_ I _love _these things! We used to play with them when we were kids..."

Hayner ran towards a small, Barbie pink vehicle that was none other than yes, a golf cart. Ditching his bag, he jumped into one of the smooth black seats and revved up the engine. "C'mon Seifer!"

Seifer didn't move. He was too busy staring, horrified, at the vehicle. "It's..._pink._"

Hayner snorted. "So? It's a free golf cart! This is a once in a lifetime experience! Get in, and chuck the bags in the back with the caddies."

"What the hell, man? I'd rather walk it!" All the same, Seifer heaved the heavy baggage into the back of the cart, wondering exactly who this cart belonged to.

Grinning at him, Hayner hit the accelerator.

**_nwnwnwnwnwnwnwnwnwnwnwnwn_**

"This."  
_Thump._  
"Is."  
_Thump._  
"Pathetic."  
Seifer dropped the bag in his hand to make the last _thump_.  
"It's not that bad..." Hayner muttered.

Several tents were pitched a few feet away from them, with shiny poles and smooth fabric. A small sign with the words 'HEARTILLY MEADOWS' stood amidst all the tents and, from the looks of the visitors, probably should have had 'BYO FUN' written beneath it. Hayner stretched his arms above his head and scanned the horizon, looking for the best place to pitch their tent. Seifer, however, was more concerned with finding out where the restrooms were.

Seifer raised his eyebrows as a small girl waved around a hammer excitedly, banging at random parts of the ground with a grin on her face. Clouds raced each other across the sky, spreading themselves thickly amongst the multi-coloured sunset. Hayner closed his eyes just as Seifer groaned. He had seen enough sunset and sunrise skies in Twilight Town... He glanced over at the blonde next to him, preferring that view _much_ better. The wind danced around each strand of Hayner's hair, and he opened his eyes with a pout.  
"Like it wasn't ruined enough," he moaned, clawing at the blonde strands.  
"Campin' out in the _wild_, Chickie. Only the _necessities_."  
"Camping sounds less fun if I can't take hair gel."

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Yes, **_nwnwnwnwnwnwnwnwn_** is my random divider.  
Did I mention that reviews are loved? Next chapter will be uploaded as soon as possible~


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